[sigh] "santa ear surgery". so first we begin by stretching out his ear to unrealistic proportions. why is he bleeding from that?what did we do? why is he bleeding from us trimming his ear hair? oh, yeah. so this is... i feel like i've played this one before, but not with, um... not with santa. i think it was, like, elsa.it was probably elsa. most of the time, it's elsa if it's gonna be anyone. i'm gonna position it so that way we can get both of these guys. tact- ...oh, fuck.
see, that would have been... that would have been some, like, speedrunning strats for ya... ...for those of you that speedrun "play santa ear surgery" game. next agdq, i need to, like, get in...and play some of these, y'know? do you think they would accept that? i do like that they... they represent the inside of an ear in the same way that star wars represents asteroids. that's... that's pretty good. it's not really a christmas game, but i mean, fucking close enough. "so help baby daisy to place everything in the ri-"she's not doing shit. let's be fucking real.she's not doing shit.
ok, "baby daisy is dressed up and ready for the party." "now... rev..."'cause that's what's fucking happening. "rev is going to set up the dining table for the party." watch. watch as she does fucking nothing. welcome, "frinds"! "use clothes." what? napkins? do you mean "use napkins"? okay, he's pretending to drive a car... as one does.... when they have a hat.
"take new year resolution." i don't think that's something you take.that's something you make. there ya go. the teddy bear is thicc. "now little daisy is ready to go in the shop with her mama's car." generally, you don't put the car in the store. get in ca- wait, who is this?! who the fuck is this woman?this is not baby daisy's mom! we know this from the last-who the fuck is this woman?!
who the fuck is this woman?! baby daisy has two moms.how progressive of this game(!) give the child everything she fucking wants.put it all in the bag! put it all in the bag! you try and pull anything, if you call the cops, i will- i will end you! don't wanna have to murder anyone today!i'm not above it. baby fuckin' daisy. so, she's at the pool, presumably? i think. it looks like the pool, right? over here?
but this looks like deep ocean.she's drowning. there's no response... does anyone remember how i call 911? "she's dying?" she's fine! look, she's not screaming, so she's probably ok, right? alright, well, we gotta give her a cardiac massage 30 times. i think there's a rhythm to this, but i'm just gonna do it as fast as possible, 'cause we're- we're- we're losing time, so... let's just go as fast as possible, then we can get her heart going really fast!
right? that's how it works? the actual instructive nature of this game is kind of crazy. have you noticed that? like, y'know, 30 compressions after you've checked for a heartbeat... make sure you call if she's unresponsive... 'cause right after you have a near-death experience, the first thing you wanna do is... ...make sure you look fucking fabulous(!) she was dead for a bit, but it's fine. merry christmas! a child died. so, it looks like it's spring, and i'm not really sure where the ice came into play?
was it- was this because elsa was freezing them in order to save them? giving liquids to someone who's unconscious is a universally bad idea. do not do that. i'm pretty sure that's bad. i don't know why- why did we add ice to her forehead? was that wrong?that feels wrong. 'cause it seems like if someone is... like, hypothermic... you should probably, like... ...not put ice on them? the needle does not go in the eye.this is absolutely not how this works. you gotta stop chasing that fuckin' mouse, man.it's getting you really fucked up.
the fuck is this website? who's your favorite mario character, guys? i used to like yoshi, but then i started thinking about how weird it is that, like... ...yoshi, like, vores people? "fanfiction". there's... fanfiction? "what happens when mario develops an appetite for pasta and things go horribly awry?" okay, sorry, i know you guys came here for flash games and shit, but, like... hold on. wait. wait.
[rev laughing] [clap] [continued laughing] "mario got his big ass out [laughs] of the truck and walked over to the door oh, so ever slowly..." "... but he found it to be locked, so he kept banging on it and yelling and screaming..." "'come on, let me in or i'll knock down the door and barge my way in, and make you feed me!'" "he had no choice but to unlock the door and let the chubby plumber in." "'alright, mario, but i was in the middle of a sex act with [laughs] my wife when you came...'" "'...so you make-a me come myself!'"
merry christmas, [laughs] everyone! um... yeah! let's play this, man. "my life became miserable. i must escape from this.i must find a way to break this vampire curse." "i want your help to become a minion again?" "follow the instruction given in the game and help me get back to normal minion." sit back and look at this image for a minute and just question how you got to this point in your life. that's what i'm doing right now. i don't really wanna know if i wanna be messin' around in a vampire's mouth! i'm sorry if i'm like that! you know, i was bigoted towards all the vampires out there. sorry, but you guys kinda suck.
why are we brushing his teeth first? let's solve the vampire problem first!i feel like that's much more dire. that's creepypasta right there.just the gaping void instead of a mouth. "are the yellowing teeth part of his design?"no. no, none of this is part of his desig-what are we looking at? there are some characters that you don't put into... pregnant... cesarean... birth game. i would argue that the main character from the "corpse bride" would be one of those. um... but... apparently, other people disagree, so... "pregnant corpse bride"!
nothing says christmas like necrophilia(!) if you're the type of person who would be... offended by... a corpse giving birth, y'know... ...you're in the wrong stream... first off. second off, it's happening, so you might wanna look away. gotta get that... that stomach ready to be cut open. 'cause cesarean birth is the only way to do it. and with a butter knife... no less! with a butter knife! of course, let's do this. okay, great. alright, here's where it's gonna begin, so i would look away... if, uh, you're squeamish.
good. great. [deep breath in] [deep breath out] [quietly] yeah. "why does it have makeup?" mmhhm, i dunno, man.why wouldn't it? salt the baby. salt the baby. add salt to the baby.add salt to the baby. yeah, i- i- i think we're done. seeing a corpse give birth is about where i wanna stop this stream.
we're gonna stop, 'cause i fucking... can't. merry christmas, everyone! i've gotta go, 'cause th- th-giving birth... to a corpse... is weird. i'll see you guys next time.goodbye.
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