♪ honest headlines ♪>> james: is that the best you could come up with for that? (laughter)we rehearsed this earlier. i know it will come as a shockthat we rehearse the show, but we rehearsed it and said, thisis honest headlines, and reggie went, jingles-a-come. that was three hours ago andwhat you came up with is. ♪ honest headlines ♪(laughter) i like it.
any thoughts, guillermo, on theband name? >> no. >> james: no, nothing. all right. so these are new stories. the headlines don't always tellyou what the story is. these are honest headlines. i don't know what's going on. (laughter)okay.
this first story comes from abcnews, and it reads: "72 year old woman survived nine days inarizona wilderness." the honest headline should havebeen, "heartless family doesn'trealize grandma's missing for nine whole days." (applause)here's a story we saw from nbc new york: "mom has meltdown atlaguardia airport over 12-hour delay"but it should read: "dad spends 12 hours saying, 'i know!
no, i know! you're right. honey, i know!'"no, i know. i know! (applause)here's a story from "the seattle -- here's a story from the"new york daily news," astronomer comes up with lasercloak idea to hide earth from illegal aliens. the headlines should have said,astronomers try weed for the
first time. (laughter)i saw this on "yahoo news" the other day: "ruh roh! owners return home to discovermischievous dog found their calligraphy ink." they actually should've justwritten this: "slow news day." (laughter)(applause) here's one more from "yahoonews:" "arnold schwarzenegger's 18-year-old son looks just likehim."
but it should read:"journalism officially dead. we just reported that a sonlooks like his father."
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