donglebox... inc. dick is the name of the... antagonist, and we're a vampire. so we're gonna go... bite him. hints: suck my dick. "shows potential." "simulation works well on the playsystem." "a nice experience." "enjoyable." 'joel's tiny dick' is enjoyable.
[typing out loud] you don't... ...really... ...matter, in the end. it's a nihilist game for kids. twelve thousand people showed up at our booth to talk about how nothing really matters. i mean, i want kids to understand the futility of life.i feel like that's important. if you have, like, your midlife crisis when you're, like, two... you don't have to worry about it later on in life, you know? aaand...
y'know? that's good. "i have a knack for security and i think we could really do with some security upgrades in our office." "i've done some research and i think if we invest..." 'kay, fine! i'm gonna trust you, hector.gonna trust that you're not tryin' to fuck us. 'cause if you're trying to fuck us...[breath, stutter] i swear to god, i'm hardercore than the fucking mafia. i will bust your kneecaps out in the fucking parking lot.
i've done much worse to much better people than you, and i will fucking end you. if i have to. sorry, i don't know where that came from. let's see. oh shit. oh shit! oh shit, ten out of ten!woo! oh yeeeah! yeeaahh!
suck my dick, all games! that game was perfect until you came along. 71? 's not bad. we got over 40 million, so if she asks me right now, "do you wanna move up in the world?" i would be, like, "yes, bitch." "yes." and then, she'd be, like... "that is... really inappropriate... language for the, the, the workplace." and i'd be, like, "i'm sorry."
"we can work this out in our hr if you want." she'll be, like... "no." "i'm taking this to my lawyers." 'n'then i'll be, like... "listen..." "i'll fire you." 'n'then she'll be, like, "i'm writing down everything you're saying." 'n'i'll be, like, "i'm gonna stop talking now." go on vacation. i mean, to his credit, he's less of a bitch than these two, who constantly need to go on vacation.
see, i talk shit about him behind... his back, to them... but while they're on vacation, i'm, like, "man, these guys are fuckin' lazy..." "y'know, you come in, you actually work..." "wss-- what d'they do?" "fuck around all day, that's what they do." "me and you, we're the backbone of this fucking corporation." fuck everyone else. and when they get back, i-i'm just gonna be, like, "you'll never... "...believe what hector was saying while you were gone."
"you have no idea how much shit he talks about you." hit... your... balls... ...hard. uh... people love... to just- wrack themselves. aaand... rather than having to deal with the... umm... damage? that it would cause? [ting!]on an actual person? you can actually experience the joy of busting your nuts... ...without any of the pain. it's great. [quiet ka-ching!]
we're visionaries, here, at donglebox inc. and i think you'll find that we really bring home... the, uhh, the expectations. send him on vacation, while he's on vacation... we're gonna do some contract work.because we don't fucking sit on our hands here. we're not like hector, who sits around and does nothing but develop bugs. we're fucking good at our jobs, right? right?! fuck hector. fuck his bullshit- welcome back, hector.
umm, we just got done with another contract, and we were... ...just about to bake a cake for you, but then, uhm, we realised we don't have an oven! so that's why we didn't.sorry about that. 'who the fuck are you?'... 'peekaboo: advanced murder'... 'frozen elsa'... 'death cannon race'... 'aliens in space','everyone's a furry'... 'anna arm removal','how to grape fruit a man'...
'listen to my dryer'...
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